Silence
by littlelimbo
Summary: What do we know about Alice's life before becoming a vampire? What do we know about her transformation? What do we know about her feelings? What do we know about what she had to go through? /one shot/


_**Darkness.**_ It's so dark, I can't see anything. It's dark and _**empty**_. There's nobody, there's no single person nearby. It's so dark and… it hurts. The pain is echoing in every cell of my body, making them burn, blaze. I would have thought that I was burst into flame, but it was too dark. It's coming true again, I knew it would be that way. And they didn't believe me. _**Fools.**_ I always hit the mark. They thought I went off my head, they put me away, they crammed me with pills, they used some strange devices. It was useless, because I always foresaw everything.

They said it was a mental affection, and I said it was a gift. Or a damnation. I'm not completely sure yet. But there's always two sides of the coin. I always foresaw everything.

But I'm in the nuthouse, I'm a madwoman, my family gave up on me, they betrayed me, buried me alive, forgot. But _**I forgave them**_, even though they don't believe that I understand everything.

I was screaming, prayed to kill me. I tried to make a whole in the water just to choke the fire, flaring inside of me. I didn't know it wasn't real. _**Illusion?**_ Premonition… My girt and my damnation.

Cynthia was screaming at me and then she was apologizing for a quite long time trying to comfort me. When the fire disappeared I was scared. She thought I was running off my head. I knew that I would have to bite that bullet. But the pain didn't frighten me, I was afraid of _**the eyes**_, that was staring at me from behind my sister's back. The eyes that disappeared when I blinked. The eyes that I will never forget. The eyes that will bring that pain.

They hid me from everyone, they hid me very far. Their friends was coming and feeling for their loss, and I foresaw everything and forgave them before everything happened. I believed they loved me. The only thing I have never known for sure was the truth. Maybe I lying myself. But _**I liked believing in my lies**_.

* * *

White walls, people in white coats, white pills. I _**hate white color**_, that's why darkness was my rescue. I was so scared that I couldn't even think clearly. But anyway I was full of joy, that I pulled through that shining whiteness.

"Calm down, Alice, I'm going to make you happy," somebody whispered close to my ear. I haven't even checked out who that was, it was unnecessary. I knew what would happen. I always foresaw everything.

I will be disoriented. Scared. _**Thirsty.**_ But there's always two sides of the coin. I will be free. Strong. _**Beloved.**_

I'm afraid of the pain, I'm afraid that it will burn me inside so that there will be only the cover, so cold, hard and cruel. I'm scared that I won't deserve _**his**_ love. The fear makes me weak, helpless, even more helpless than usual. But I know _**he**_'ll be with me, when everything comes to the end. I know _**he**_'ll be comforting we just by his presence. I know _**he**_'ll be my light when it is dark.

* * *

We met in the saloon in some Southern state. He came to have a bite and I was just sitting. Thereat he said that we would meet again in that saloon after a while. He was older and more wise than me. He knew where's the truth and where's the lies in this world. He was full of grief and sadness.

I called him 'love'. He smiled sadly, drew a breath through his squeezed teeth and whispered, "But I will make your life a burden, but I will take your warmth away, but I will kill you…" I didn't let him end. It's bullshit, I foresaw that.

When he stared into my eyes I saw everything he was hiding from everybody. I stared into his eyes and so everything he was hiding from himself. "Calm down, love, I will tell you everything later…"

* * *

He was so afraid of hurting me. But I knew I would come back to him for happiness. I knew I would bring his happiness with me. I knew he would take my pain away, I knew his love would set me free… He didn't believe in his promise, but I always foresaw everything…

* * *

The fire inside went out. The darkness began stepping back. I felt the rage boiling up inside of me. Thirst. Hatred. But there's always two sides of the coin. The misunderstanding and disorientation were hiding behind the aggression. I felt like I overlooked something.

* * *

"You must wait until I come," his voice whispered. _**His voice. **_Since then I knew who I need to do. _**He**_ kept his promise.

* * *

I've never liked people. I couldn't trust them completely. I've never trusted people with empty eyes. But now… Now I didn't have to trust anyone. Anyone but _**him**_. And I was waiting.

* * *

There were five of them. They were surprised. They loved us. They let us into their world, into their family. They believed us. They made us happy.

I needed to wait until _**he**_ comes. They were already expecting us, though they were unsuspicious of us coming. I always foresaw everything. Always. But there's always two sides of the coin. _**Doubts.**_ What if _**he**_ changed his mind?

But I've never mistaken.

"You've kept me waiting a long time."

_**He **_ducked his head and said, "I'm sorry, ma'am."

I smiled at him, and _**he**_ took my hand. "I thought you were never going to show up."

For the first time in my life, I felt hope.

Family. Home. Love. _**He.

* * *

**_**A/N:**__So, what do you, guys, think? I need your reviews! They're making my day. So please!


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